Goodbye Me Pal

He's the only sri lankan fren i know. Oh wait, he's not the onli sri lankan fren i know, i know 2 sri lankan. Haha. His name is Anthony. He's leaving today. Well, we was once classmates. He's a nice guy. Serious. I wont forget u man. Sory, i really dunno wat to say. My sentences nowadays is like all in pieces and parcel. Sory man, i'm an idiot. I dunno whether u know about my blog anot but i really do hope u will come back one day. Gimme a call when u do. And of course good luck in ur life and everything. Still a long road to our destination. Haha. I will always remember u. Dun worry. Haha. Bye, my friend.

Re-evaluation

For once i thought u hv still a glimpse of feelings towards me. Such a fool. How could i not know? I just realized that the little glimpse of feelings doesnt exist at all. The things u said to me, the word u use, the tone. I really thought that.... Maybe i am a fool after all. U might not have a clue wat u said to me but everything u said to me is a memory to me. I really hope u do have feelings for me. Please tell me u do....

Wisdom? I dun think i hv even a tiny bit of that virtue now. Maybe that is why some ppl choose not to love anymore. Yea, truely, i might hv been a fool for her, but for those that choose not to love anymore, they might hv forgotten the sweet memories behind the love. Kinda sad to know that she doesnt like me at all.. but i will nv regret loving u because it was u who make me into a better person and of course the memories. Damn, i'm pathetic.

The song, Linger, always remind me of how i am such a fool for u and my lingering feelings upon u.

Perhaps i need some time to re-evaluate myself, things i hv done, everything. But one thing is for sure, I really do like u. It would be selfish for me to use the word love for i dun think i'm mature enough to love u. After everything. I'm sory.

Emo dude

Lol. 1st thing i come on9, my fren pm me and said hi, wanna go out yam cha? Emo dude? I like swt. Emo dude? =.= Hmm, dunno maybe i am one. Haha but i guess they wont understand the feeling. Its been awhile eversince i saw her. To me is like a year or more. Haihz, i really dunno wat am i suppose to do. Really, is only me that liked her not the other way so perhaps she wont know either. Oh God.. What the heck am i talking? Ah, and my sinus is killing me as always.

Btw, to these days that seem like a year, i found out some interesting names. Haha.

i) Lestat
ii) Lucius
iii) Lancelot
iv) Leia
v) Lucilla

But, i think Lestat is the best. Haha.

Oh, yea i also found out some distinctive virtues of life. Well, here it goes:

i) Wisdom

The way i'm acting, i dun think i hv this virtue.

ii) Ambition

This one i guess i hv. Haha. Is just the matter of whether it can be achieved or not.

iii) Temperance

Not sure.

iv) Fortitude

Abit kua.

v) Devotion

Er... no?

vi) Courageous

Nv. U wont find this virtue on a coward i guess. Haha.

Shallow

There is nv one day i could stop myself from thinking bout u. In fact, everything i do, u're somehow always on my mind. I couldn't hlp myself for falling so deep for you. U're everything to me, gorgeous, smart, lovely, everything. U're just simply flawless to me. Dwelling in this never-ending illusion is really hard for my love for u is tormenting me everyday. I really hope that u can tell me that u like me as much as i like u but i know this is absurd. Sometimes, i just hope that u will tell me that u dun like me so that i can get over u, truely, or maybe one day when we meet again, i'll be seeing u holding hands with another guy. I really hope i can get over u and keep u away from my mind but I cant... the more i try to forget u, the more i am thinking of you. I just... cant. Fortitude is what keep me standing still these days. It seems like an illusion all the while, life is. I guess i'm just too shallow..

How Did I Fall In Love With You

Remember when
We never needed each other
The best of friends
Like sister and brother
We understood
We’d never
be Alone

Those days are gone
Now I want you so much
The night is long
And I need your touch
Don’t know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child
That I resemble
I cannot pretend
That we can still be friends
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I wanna say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don’t wanna live this lie
I don’t wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
Everything’s changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you

Wonderful Life

For me i think my life is a blessing now. Well, i might have been born ugly or dumb but u know wat God has given me in my life? God has given me friends that are none other than u guys (G6) and God has also give me my wonderful parents and siblings. I really like to take this opporturnity to thanks Caryn on her wonderful post about us. I really like it. I think u really put alot effort into it. Haha. Thanks Caryn. No matter how many times i hv said something or done something wrong to u. Plz forgive me. Mistake, i guess. Mistake i think is wat brought us to know more about ourselves and identifying our true souls. I know, i have done countless of mistake in the past but it had been a wonderful experiences that brings about the better me. And for this, i hv to thanks my parents, my classmates, my siblings, my best buddies, and my tutor.

Well, my parents.. Last time i was quite a rude boy and quite rebellious but as years gone by, i begin to realise that maybe for all the scolding last time is for my sake. Now, i think i'm alot mature to be able to handle by relationships with my parents and of course i do spend time with them every now and then. My siblings, of course, my eldest bro, to be honest, without him, i dunno wat have i to become now. Haha.

My best buddies, this include Ivan Lai and one of my old schoolmate Seong Bin. Haha. They are wonderful. Seriously, Ivan, i need to thank u for all the things u have taught me. Also, i would like to humbly apologize to u. I know sometimes when i play games, i might be abit siao, haha. Tats because i get too high i think. Haha. Saying stuff that annoys u or stuff.. but to be honest with u, i dun really know wat i'm talking during that period. Haha. I guess i dun mean it. I'm sory. Truely, u're the only guy i respect the most besides my father, my bros and my tutor coz i think u're a far greater guy than me, ever to be. It would take me a lifetime to be as good as u, i think. But i promise i'll change, not because of anything else.. Just that i wanna be a better person.. really. Thanks.

My friends of course are equally as important. Yes, they are. Yup i think Caryn is true. I'm a coward all my life. Haha. I guess i am. Even my own siblings, my cousin and friends said the same thing to me. Well, i guess tat is why my parents gimme the name Colin. Haha. C stands for coward i think. Well? Haha. Without u all, i guess i wouldnt be... me. Thinking of how we will part one day.. Seriously, as a guy, tears do occur. Haha. Maybe i'm a sissy. I dunno. Sory.

And my tutor. Haha. He's the one that transform me from lazy and dumb to eventually become someone better. He taught me in form 4 back then. On physics and chem and add math of course. Not only he taught me sciences, he also taught me the way of life. Every now and then, he will come and we will talk bout our lives and stuff. Btw, he said i'm those type that dun like to social alot. Haha. He is the one that actually inspired me to become a biotechnician. ( Is tat wat u call it anyway? Someone who master the field of biotech?). Perhaps, one day during this holiday i will find him and maybe go yum cha wif him and chat for awhile. And, seriously, if i were one day to be able to drive cars like BMW, i will come to u and tell u how succesful i have become under ur guidance, i really hope i do.

Wat else can i hope for more in life? Really? I think God has given me the best thing ever for anyone else. I really do love all of u. Haha. Hack, my eyes are abit wet. I guess is the yawning. Lol. Sory if i sounded pathethic but this is wat deep down inside my heart. For all of u, i hope we'll meet again one day. And of course good luck in everything. For everlasting memories lies deep down within my heart.

Thank You all

This post is especially for those who hv hlp me. 1st of all, i would like to thx samantha for teaching me esl and the story book. Oh, yea, the story book. Lol. Sory, i haven read finish, almost. Haha. I'll return to u as soon as possible. 2nd, i would like to thx cindy for all the notes, info and stuff. Thx cindy. Haha. 3rdly, i would like to thx yi vun for all the chem notes. Haha. Without it, i wonder how am i suppose to do chem. Lol. Finally, the last but not least, is my best buddy. Who else? Haha. None other than Ivan Lai. Haha U're the bestest buddy that one can ever wish for. Haha, though at times u might say stuff that really annoys me but well haha.. No worries. For that i would like to wish u to get a TER of 95+ so that u can go monash and i also hope i can get TER of 90+ to get my scholarship for biotech, then we can most probably meet there. Haha. Thx man, for everything. Also, i would like to thx all my frens, vivek, sara, sanjay, hao yi, jack. Haha, u guys are great. ^.^y. All the best man in everything, i hope we'll meet one day. Haha. See one of u driving like BMW or maybe even Lamborghini. Haha. Thxs all.

Fantasy

Fantasy. Fantasy is simple, really. Some fantasy is only meant to exist in our dreams and only there. Well, is funny really, how someone can do so much for the one they love. It doesnt matter them as long as they can be with the one they love. Well, i might have been a complete idiot in front of u or perhaps i might even say stuff that is ridiculous and make myself look like a fool, but that is just because i dont wanna act as someone i'm not to u. I know, i know clearly that u doesnt have the same feelings i have for u towards me but eventhough i knew about it, i still.. i still dwell upon u. Well... everything is over now. Perhaps one day i might forget bout ur laughter, ur smile or maybe even ur voice.. but i will always remember that i have love u. I'm sory coz i shouldnt be saying this, really. Well, i hope we will meet in the near future and i certainly hope that u will find a guy that is far better than me, ever, because u deserve someone better. Well, let fate decide everthing... Ah hack, i think i should stop here. I really sound so pathetic nowadays. So sory.

Butterflies

1 more exam to go and we're free like butterflies. Haha. Well, i guess there is good and bad. Haihz, nowadays getting more and more pathetic. Haha, can sense it. Even one of my buddy told me, I'm getting more pathetic. Maybe, he is right. Well.. i guess this is wat happens when u fall for someone, badly. Haha. Ah, hack.. again. Geesh, i feel like banging on the wall now with my head, at the very least u can forget bout everything. Haha, nar, i wont do it because my chemistry is 2 days ahead. After that, maybe. Haha. Well, as i've just mentioned, 1 more paper to go. Haha. Everyone will be able to spread their wings. Just hope everything turn out the way it is and well..... Happy holiday.

I miss you like crazy

I used to call you my girl
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that I never had

When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down
When your love's not around I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

You are all that I want
You're all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real

When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down
When your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down
When your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy

One Last Cry

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you, holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Still I sit, all alone
Wishing all my feelings gone
I give my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
This time
Believe that I
I guess
I'm down to my last cry
[Cry...]

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to wait for me
Still I sit, all alone
Wishing all my feelings gone

Gotta get over you [Gotta get over you]
Nothing for me to do [Yeah..]
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
This time..
Believe that I
I know I've gotta be strong
Cos my whole life goes on and on
And on.. and on.... [Oh..]

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I have my
One last cry..One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Believe that I
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down to my last cry..

My Lovable Lecturer

Haha. Without u all, i wont know so much about science. Haha. Thx. There is something i wanted to say about all the lecturers that hv taught me. Well, here it goes:

Mrs Kee (Math) ,

This is wat she wrote to me in my year book : May God's richest blessing be upon you.
Description : Well, she's a pretty nice teacher to me. Haha. Caring and responsible teacher. Though at times ur lessons might be boring but u're still my wonderful lecturer, as always. Haha. Oh yea, to be true, i'm sorry teacher. I dun think i'm dat wonderful boy u think i am coz i dont do my work. Haha. Thx you.

Mrs Param (Bio) ,

This is wat she wrote to me in my year book :Dear Colin, my wish for u is tat.. Your dreams stay big and your worries small. May God bless you always.
Description : Haha, seriously i love her comments the most. She wrote the song 'My Wish' lyrics to me. Haha. Thx teacher. Hmm, she's also a caring and responsible teacher. Well, teacher though u might be abit too naggy at times but u just want me to be a better person so... Thx you.

Kevin Goh (ESL) ,

This is wat he wrote to me in my year book : Hey, Colin. Dont give up in life! God helps those whose love themself. Like how I love you all. Ha!Ha!Ha!
Description : Haha, he's a great teacher, he's understanding and caring. He's the only teacher i speak cantonese with. Haha. Thx, sir for ur lessons. Oh yea, I hope u're coming to Singapore with us. Haha.

Ms Lai (Chem) ,

This is wat she wrote to me in my year book : Dear Colin, All the best in your finals and your future undertakings.
Description: Hmm, she's a understanding and nice teacher. Haha. Sory, teacher coz i always dun listen in ur class. Not because i dun want, is.. Truely, coz u speak abit too fast for me. Haha but is ok. Ur notes are great. Thx you.

Mr Yap (Phy) ,

He wrote nothing to me in my year book...
Description : Well, he's a responsible teacher. He's lesson is nv boring for me. Haha. Mayb is because i like physics but he is truely a good teacher i suppose. Well, u might hate me. I'm not sure but u're still my lecturer. U taught me and i'm suppose to be grateful. Haha. Thx you, sir.

Thx you all for teaching me. I wont let u all down. I mean... err.. I'll try my best. Haha. Dont guarantee will produce results. U all are certainly my lovable lecturer. Thx you teacher.