All my life

Well.. ermm this might be my last blogging coz i dunno when will i blog again because.. there is a number of reasons :

1) Uni starting pretty soon and ermm.. i dunno whether izzit stressful or not so ermm.. might not have the time.
2) This is killing me and i hope to stop
3) Hold on to what i hv left within me

Well, since this is the last.. i better make it a long wan. I really wanted to tell u that i really find u the most special person that i hv ever met. U changed me to a better person.. more mature perhaps? Really, u're the only one that i've ever had this feelings for. I dunno. This question remains elusive, somehow. I know the chances of finding someone like u again is like.. ermm locating a particular person in a billions of crowd? Haha, i really dunno wat i'm saying here. Well, i dunno whether u like me or not but that doesnt matter anymore coz we might not be seeing each other again. Seriously, i dun mind studying anything. In fact, i had a plan once to study with the one i love most. Haha, immature eh? Well, i guess life never turns out according to plan, in my case. But i think, i'm never worthy for u. Perhaps, ermm.. i dunno.. immature? the way i talk? Haha, still talking like one. For the past 2 months i've been really in a mess, goin to CC for almost 24 hours a day just to stop myself from thinking. Crazy eh? Haha. Well, i guess i cant hlp it. But for the past 2 months besides all the CC i still did something which i think is more.. ermm... useful? Ermmm... essential? Nar, i dunno the word. I've already obtained my driving license and my piano lesson is half way through. As u can see.. i still like u alot. In fact i dunno whether i'll get over u. Maybe not. I really dunno what more i can say... is like... i've used all my words on u that there is none left. Sometimes is better not seeing each other because i rather not see u than to see u with another guy. Well, just hope that u'll find a guy that find himself worthy for u and most importantly, love u as much as i do or perhaps more than i do. And one last thing.. I heard this song in the radio that day and immediately the very 1st person i think of was u. This song means alot to me. Listen to this song.. is something from me to u, if u ever find ur way to this blog of mine..

Confusion

If i really love u that much why should i even think of letting u go? Maybe.. maybe i know that our relationship might not work? Or maybe because i know this is a one sided-romance? Or is it just plain coward? I saw u on9 that day, i was actually very happy.. but sometimes is just that how u feel about others does not make others feel the same for u, so... its kinda like i really wanted to talk to u but i dunno wat i should say. Haihz. But i'm glad to know u're alright there. Perhaps u hv even found someone u like there. Well, as long as u're happy, i will be.. for u. Ah, hack.. I'm pathetic.

Best In Me

Sometimes ur words means different to others. I dunno. It seems happening to me all the time. Well, i'm suppose i'm a lousy speaker? Same goes to the things u do. U know u're goin to fail and yet u tried. Human nature? I'm not that sure either. Perhaps i knew that u dont like me but yet it seems that there is always this hope that keeps me goin on. I dunno why i love u so much. Maybe its not all about the hope, maybe is because u bring out the best in me that none other can.

Cause u bring out the best in me
Like no one else can do
That's why i'm by ur side
That's why i love u

I really do miss u so much even until now. Seriously, i'm so down without u and sometimes i wish i could see u again eventhough... The reason why i blogged so much lesser nowadays because blogging reminds me of u. A place where i voiced out my heart. Though it reminds me of u, yet i'm still doing it.

Incomplete

Its been a awhile again. I'm seriously lost nowadays and for the past month i've been completely stupefied. I guess i'm really completely in love with her. I still cant let u go. Is all my fault, i should hv told u how i felt about u but i hesitated. I'm such a coward and a loser. But even if i told u how much i love u that doesnt make u feel the same way towards me. I hesitated because i think i'm not good enough for u. U're really the one girl i ever see this way before. Is really... i dunno.. Haihz. There is so many question i wanna ask u and i've not seen u for awhile. I know u know how i feel about u. That is why i hesitated even more when i saw u. Is really a one-sided romance i think this is.

Do u still remember the phrase i once told u before? Happy and whole? I finally know wat it means to be happy and whole. Because i'm so incomplete nowadays no matter what i do, without you. If i were to be given a choice on having u and letting go everything in my life, i do. Because i know i love u.