Abyss

Really wat more can go wrong? I really dunno wat more to say. Lost my IC and results are bad. Previously i already have a bad premonition about my results. I thought i was just too worried about it till the day i saw my own results. Haihz. Really. Everything is lost. I'm living in an abyss now. A memorable year aint it? 2007. What a piece of crap i'm writing? I hv no idea myself.

Without You

Is it possible that one soul cannot live without another soul? Last time, i've always think that this is not possible. But as days past, i've begin to realise that it is possible that one cannot live without another person, someone important to him or perhaps his love. For the past week, i've really been in a mess, everything i did was ... was... completely... i mean i'm like a lifeless soul nowadays. Nar, i dunno wat to say anymore. This is just... hard.

Without You:

Oh I can't forget this evening
Or your face when you were leaving
But I guess thats just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows, yes it shows

Oh I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live, if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give anymore

I can't live, if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give anymore

How Deep Is Your Love?

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm with your love then you softly leave

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you, you know the door to a better song
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside that I really do

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

Girl you came to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love then you softly leave

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

How deep is your love?

I Still

Its good to hv finally found the answer and not to be a sadist all the time. Recently, i keep getting awake from my sleep in the middle of the night. Though everything is over but I still recall the past and think of u most of the time. I was wondering where have u been lately, because i still owe u an apology for acting so naive and... I've been missing u.

Until The End of Time

Its been 5 months eversince i really fall in love with u. I hv been thinking recently and figure that the things i hv done in the past was wrong. Wrong in the sense that, the way i've acted is so naive. To be truthful, is really ok if anyone said i'm emo or something but the reason i've posted so many of this so called 'emo post' is really wat ive been thinking of for the past 5 months. Everything i do, u will be on my mind. Well, everything has to over soon. There is just one more thing left for me to say. Haha. I'm a coward, i think i wouldnt dare tell u face to face. I owe u an apology. I dunno how much longer my love for u will last, maybe, another couple of years before i can erase all the feelings as feelings wont fade easily. Well, maybe this is the time for me to stop acting so naive and life has to go on, rite? But i will always remember that i hv love u.. Until the end of time.

Until The End of Time :

Woke up this morning
Heard the TV sayin' something
'Bout disaster in the world and
It made me wonder where I'm going
There's so much darkness in the world
But I see beauty left in you girl
And what you give me let's me know
That I'll be alright

'cause if your love was all I had
In this life
Well that would be enough
Until the end of time
So rest your weary heart
And relax your mind
Cause I'm gonna love you girl
Until the end of time

Now if you're ever wondering
About the way I'm feeling
Well baby girl there ain't no question
Just to be around you is a blessing
Sick and tired of trying to save the world
I just want to spend my time with you girl
And what you're giving me
Let's me know that we'll be alright.

'cause if your love was all I had
In this life
Well that would be enough
Until the end of time
So rest your weary heart
And relax your mind
Cause I'm gonna love you girl
Until the end of time

'cause if your love was all I had
In this life
That would be enough
Until the end of time

Goodbye Me Pal

He's the only sri lankan fren i know. Oh wait, he's not the onli sri lankan fren i know, i know 2 sri lankan. Haha. His name is Anthony. He's leaving today. Well, we was once classmates. He's a nice guy. Serious. I wont forget u man. Sory, i really dunno wat to say. My sentences nowadays is like all in pieces and parcel. Sory man, i'm an idiot. I dunno whether u know about my blog anot but i really do hope u will come back one day. Gimme a call when u do. And of course good luck in ur life and everything. Still a long road to our destination. Haha. I will always remember u. Dun worry. Haha. Bye, my friend.

Re-evaluation

For once i thought u hv still a glimpse of feelings towards me. Such a fool. How could i not know? I just realized that the little glimpse of feelings doesnt exist at all. The things u said to me, the word u use, the tone. I really thought that.... Maybe i am a fool after all. U might not have a clue wat u said to me but everything u said to me is a memory to me. I really hope u do have feelings for me. Please tell me u do....

Wisdom? I dun think i hv even a tiny bit of that virtue now. Maybe that is why some ppl choose not to love anymore. Yea, truely, i might hv been a fool for her, but for those that choose not to love anymore, they might hv forgotten the sweet memories behind the love. Kinda sad to know that she doesnt like me at all.. but i will nv regret loving u because it was u who make me into a better person and of course the memories. Damn, i'm pathetic.

The song, Linger, always remind me of how i am such a fool for u and my lingering feelings upon u.

Perhaps i need some time to re-evaluate myself, things i hv done, everything. But one thing is for sure, I really do like u. It would be selfish for me to use the word love for i dun think i'm mature enough to love u. After everything. I'm sory.

Emo dude

Lol. 1st thing i come on9, my fren pm me and said hi, wanna go out yam cha? Emo dude? I like swt. Emo dude? =.= Hmm, dunno maybe i am one. Haha but i guess they wont understand the feeling. Its been awhile eversince i saw her. To me is like a year or more. Haihz, i really dunno wat am i suppose to do. Really, is only me that liked her not the other way so perhaps she wont know either. Oh God.. What the heck am i talking? Ah, and my sinus is killing me as always.

Btw, to these days that seem like a year, i found out some interesting names. Haha.

i) Lestat
ii) Lucius
iii) Lancelot
iv) Leia
v) Lucilla

But, i think Lestat is the best. Haha.

Oh, yea i also found out some distinctive virtues of life. Well, here it goes:

i) Wisdom

The way i'm acting, i dun think i hv this virtue.

ii) Ambition

This one i guess i hv. Haha. Is just the matter of whether it can be achieved or not.

iii) Temperance

Not sure.

iv) Fortitude

Abit kua.

v) Devotion

Er... no?

vi) Courageous

Nv. U wont find this virtue on a coward i guess. Haha.

Shallow

There is nv one day i could stop myself from thinking bout u. In fact, everything i do, u're somehow always on my mind. I couldn't hlp myself for falling so deep for you. U're everything to me, gorgeous, smart, lovely, everything. U're just simply flawless to me. Dwelling in this never-ending illusion is really hard for my love for u is tormenting me everyday. I really hope that u can tell me that u like me as much as i like u but i know this is absurd. Sometimes, i just hope that u will tell me that u dun like me so that i can get over u, truely, or maybe one day when we meet again, i'll be seeing u holding hands with another guy. I really hope i can get over u and keep u away from my mind but I cant... the more i try to forget u, the more i am thinking of you. I just... cant. Fortitude is what keep me standing still these days. It seems like an illusion all the while, life is. I guess i'm just too shallow..

How Did I Fall In Love With You

Remember when
We never needed each other
The best of friends
Like sister and brother
We understood
We’d never
be Alone

Those days are gone
Now I want you so much
The night is long
And I need your touch
Don’t know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child
That I resemble
I cannot pretend
That we can still be friends
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I wanna say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don’t wanna live this lie
I don’t wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
Everything’s changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you

Wonderful Life

For me i think my life is a blessing now. Well, i might have been born ugly or dumb but u know wat God has given me in my life? God has given me friends that are none other than u guys (G6) and God has also give me my wonderful parents and siblings. I really like to take this opporturnity to thanks Caryn on her wonderful post about us. I really like it. I think u really put alot effort into it. Haha. Thanks Caryn. No matter how many times i hv said something or done something wrong to u. Plz forgive me. Mistake, i guess. Mistake i think is wat brought us to know more about ourselves and identifying our true souls. I know, i have done countless of mistake in the past but it had been a wonderful experiences that brings about the better me. And for this, i hv to thanks my parents, my classmates, my siblings, my best buddies, and my tutor.

Well, my parents.. Last time i was quite a rude boy and quite rebellious but as years gone by, i begin to realise that maybe for all the scolding last time is for my sake. Now, i think i'm alot mature to be able to handle by relationships with my parents and of course i do spend time with them every now and then. My siblings, of course, my eldest bro, to be honest, without him, i dunno wat have i to become now. Haha.

My best buddies, this include Ivan Lai and one of my old schoolmate Seong Bin. Haha. They are wonderful. Seriously, Ivan, i need to thank u for all the things u have taught me. Also, i would like to humbly apologize to u. I know sometimes when i play games, i might be abit siao, haha. Tats because i get too high i think. Haha. Saying stuff that annoys u or stuff.. but to be honest with u, i dun really know wat i'm talking during that period. Haha. I guess i dun mean it. I'm sory. Truely, u're the only guy i respect the most besides my father, my bros and my tutor coz i think u're a far greater guy than me, ever to be. It would take me a lifetime to be as good as u, i think. But i promise i'll change, not because of anything else.. Just that i wanna be a better person.. really. Thanks.

My friends of course are equally as important. Yes, they are. Yup i think Caryn is true. I'm a coward all my life. Haha. I guess i am. Even my own siblings, my cousin and friends said the same thing to me. Well, i guess tat is why my parents gimme the name Colin. Haha. C stands for coward i think. Well? Haha. Without u all, i guess i wouldnt be... me. Thinking of how we will part one day.. Seriously, as a guy, tears do occur. Haha. Maybe i'm a sissy. I dunno. Sory.

And my tutor. Haha. He's the one that transform me from lazy and dumb to eventually become someone better. He taught me in form 4 back then. On physics and chem and add math of course. Not only he taught me sciences, he also taught me the way of life. Every now and then, he will come and we will talk bout our lives and stuff. Btw, he said i'm those type that dun like to social alot. Haha. He is the one that actually inspired me to become a biotechnician. ( Is tat wat u call it anyway? Someone who master the field of biotech?). Perhaps, one day during this holiday i will find him and maybe go yum cha wif him and chat for awhile. And, seriously, if i were one day to be able to drive cars like BMW, i will come to u and tell u how succesful i have become under ur guidance, i really hope i do.

Wat else can i hope for more in life? Really? I think God has given me the best thing ever for anyone else. I really do love all of u. Haha. Hack, my eyes are abit wet. I guess is the yawning. Lol. Sory if i sounded pathethic but this is wat deep down inside my heart. For all of u, i hope we'll meet again one day. And of course good luck in everything. For everlasting memories lies deep down within my heart.

Thank You all

This post is especially for those who hv hlp me. 1st of all, i would like to thx samantha for teaching me esl and the story book. Oh, yea, the story book. Lol. Sory, i haven read finish, almost. Haha. I'll return to u as soon as possible. 2nd, i would like to thx cindy for all the notes, info and stuff. Thx cindy. Haha. 3rdly, i would like to thx yi vun for all the chem notes. Haha. Without it, i wonder how am i suppose to do chem. Lol. Finally, the last but not least, is my best buddy. Who else? Haha. None other than Ivan Lai. Haha U're the bestest buddy that one can ever wish for. Haha, though at times u might say stuff that really annoys me but well haha.. No worries. For that i would like to wish u to get a TER of 95+ so that u can go monash and i also hope i can get TER of 90+ to get my scholarship for biotech, then we can most probably meet there. Haha. Thx man, for everything. Also, i would like to thx all my frens, vivek, sara, sanjay, hao yi, jack. Haha, u guys are great. ^.^y. All the best man in everything, i hope we'll meet one day. Haha. See one of u driving like BMW or maybe even Lamborghini. Haha. Thxs all.

Fantasy

Fantasy. Fantasy is simple, really. Some fantasy is only meant to exist in our dreams and only there. Well, is funny really, how someone can do so much for the one they love. It doesnt matter them as long as they can be with the one they love. Well, i might have been a complete idiot in front of u or perhaps i might even say stuff that is ridiculous and make myself look like a fool, but that is just because i dont wanna act as someone i'm not to u. I know, i know clearly that u doesnt have the same feelings i have for u towards me but eventhough i knew about it, i still.. i still dwell upon u. Well... everything is over now. Perhaps one day i might forget bout ur laughter, ur smile or maybe even ur voice.. but i will always remember that i have love u. I'm sory coz i shouldnt be saying this, really. Well, i hope we will meet in the near future and i certainly hope that u will find a guy that is far better than me, ever, because u deserve someone better. Well, let fate decide everthing... Ah hack, i think i should stop here. I really sound so pathetic nowadays. So sory.

Butterflies

1 more exam to go and we're free like butterflies. Haha. Well, i guess there is good and bad. Haihz, nowadays getting more and more pathetic. Haha, can sense it. Even one of my buddy told me, I'm getting more pathetic. Maybe, he is right. Well.. i guess this is wat happens when u fall for someone, badly. Haha. Ah, hack.. again. Geesh, i feel like banging on the wall now with my head, at the very least u can forget bout everything. Haha, nar, i wont do it because my chemistry is 2 days ahead. After that, maybe. Haha. Well, as i've just mentioned, 1 more paper to go. Haha. Everyone will be able to spread their wings. Just hope everything turn out the way it is and well..... Happy holiday.

I miss you like crazy

I used to call you my girl
I used to call you my friend
I used to call you the love
The love that I never had

When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down
When your love's not around I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

You are all that I want
You're all that I need
Can't you see how I feel
Can't you see that my pain's so real

When I think of you
I don't know what to do
When will I see you again

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down
When your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy
Even more than words can say
I miss you like crazy
Every minute of every day
Girl I'm so down
When your love's not around
I miss you, miss you, miss you
I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy

I miss you like crazy

One Last Cry

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you, holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Still I sit, all alone
Wishing all my feelings gone
I give my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
This time
Believe that I
I guess
I'm down to my last cry
[Cry...]

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to wait for me
Still I sit, all alone
Wishing all my feelings gone

Gotta get over you [Gotta get over you]
Nothing for me to do [Yeah..]
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
This time..
Believe that I
I know I've gotta be strong
Cos my whole life goes on and on
And on.. and on.... [Oh..]

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I have my
One last cry..One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind
For the very last time
Believe that I
I guess I'm down, I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down to my last cry..

My Lovable Lecturer

Haha. Without u all, i wont know so much about science. Haha. Thx. There is something i wanted to say about all the lecturers that hv taught me. Well, here it goes:

Mrs Kee (Math) ,

This is wat she wrote to me in my year book : May God's richest blessing be upon you.
Description : Well, she's a pretty nice teacher to me. Haha. Caring and responsible teacher. Though at times ur lessons might be boring but u're still my wonderful lecturer, as always. Haha. Oh yea, to be true, i'm sorry teacher. I dun think i'm dat wonderful boy u think i am coz i dont do my work. Haha. Thx you.

Mrs Param (Bio) ,

This is wat she wrote to me in my year book :Dear Colin, my wish for u is tat.. Your dreams stay big and your worries small. May God bless you always.
Description : Haha, seriously i love her comments the most. She wrote the song 'My Wish' lyrics to me. Haha. Thx teacher. Hmm, she's also a caring and responsible teacher. Well, teacher though u might be abit too naggy at times but u just want me to be a better person so... Thx you.

Kevin Goh (ESL) ,

This is wat he wrote to me in my year book : Hey, Colin. Dont give up in life! God helps those whose love themself. Like how I love you all. Ha!Ha!Ha!
Description : Haha, he's a great teacher, he's understanding and caring. He's the only teacher i speak cantonese with. Haha. Thx, sir for ur lessons. Oh yea, I hope u're coming to Singapore with us. Haha.

Ms Lai (Chem) ,

This is wat she wrote to me in my year book : Dear Colin, All the best in your finals and your future undertakings.
Description: Hmm, she's a understanding and nice teacher. Haha. Sory, teacher coz i always dun listen in ur class. Not because i dun want, is.. Truely, coz u speak abit too fast for me. Haha but is ok. Ur notes are great. Thx you.

Mr Yap (Phy) ,

He wrote nothing to me in my year book...
Description : Well, he's a responsible teacher. He's lesson is nv boring for me. Haha. Mayb is because i like physics but he is truely a good teacher i suppose. Well, u might hate me. I'm not sure but u're still my lecturer. U taught me and i'm suppose to be grateful. Haha. Thx you, sir.

Thx you all for teaching me. I wont let u all down. I mean... err.. I'll try my best. Haha. Dont guarantee will produce results. U all are certainly my lovable lecturer. Thx you teacher.

Final Moments

Well, tmw is the last day of college. Days gone by so quickly that when I was about to realised it, is already too late. Haha. Somehow or rather, i realised a drastic change in myself. Maybe is because as days gone by, we become more and more mature for everyday is a new learning process that sooner or later served us as our experiences in life. To some of u, hmm, i dunno, haha, well, i might be.... hmm, bad? or maybe jerkish but is ok and not to be forgotten, haha... sorry. Lol. Seriously, I did not know goin to school would be that nice until I met all of u. This year had been such a wonderful dream. Thanks to all of u for the wonderful memory that u have given me that makes it a wonderful dream. Without it, the existing me for now will not exist. To some of u, i might not see u again or we might not see each other again. For that, i would like to wish u good luck in life and to all the things u do. Haha. Well, i guess this is another one of my crap. Lol.

To all my classmates~: Fate has brought us all together and i would like to thanks all of u. Though there are times that we have to bid farewell to each other but the memories we have shared will always be remembered. Goodluck in life. ^.^y Haha.

Oh, crap... Is 8 already, well hope to see u all in the near future. =)

Naega Nuweottteon Chimdae (In My Bed)

Oneul deureosseo
nege saero-un namjaga saenggyeotttago beolsseo
ni chingu-ui ibeul tonghaeseo modu da peojyeosseo
niga eotteoke sagwigo inneunji neomu nollabeoryeosseo

Na-ege ju-eottteon ttokkkateun seonmureul mandeureojweosseo
ttokkkateun naeyongi damgin pyeonjil deotpputyeosseo
ireon sarangeun cheo-eumiramyeonseo baby

Naega nuweottteon chimdae-e nuweo
naege ju-eottteon nunbicheul jumyeo
sarangeul nanweo dareun saramgwa eotteoke beolsseo ireoke nal ijeo
mideojijiga anha jeongmal nal saranghagineun han geon maja
naneun ajiktto dareun sarangeun saenggakjjochado haji
mothaneunde

Nareul bulleottteon ttokkkateun hochingeuro geu sarameul bureugo
naega neol deryeo gan gottteureul geu saram sonjapkko
machi cheo-eumgaboneun saramcheoreom seolle-ineun cheokhamyeo
modeun ge nawa hamkkehaettteon sojunghan chu-eoktteurinde
geu saramgwa dashihamyeon da jiweojiltende
urichu-eokttereul wae ji-uneunde waewae

Naega nuweottteon chimdae-e nuweo
naege ju-eottteon nunbicheul jumyeo
sarangeul nanweo dareun saramgwa eotteoke beolsseo ireoke nal ijeo
mideojijiga anha jeongmal nal saranghagineun han geon maja
naneun ajiktto dareun sarangeun saenggakjjochado haji
mothaneunde

Naega tattteon cha
naega attteon uija
naega seo-ittteon jari-e geu sarami isseo
saranghandago maradeon ipssullo ije dareun saramui ibeul matjjugo
isseo

Naega nuweottteon chimdae-e nuweo
naege ju-eottteon nunbicheul jumyeo
sarangeul nanweo dareun saramgwa eotteoke beolsseo ireoke nal ijeo
mideojijiga anha jeongmal nal saranghagineun han geon maja
naneun ajiktto dareun sarangeun saenggakjjochado haji
mothaneunde

Gonner

Conversation between me, Sara and Ivan:

Sara: So hows ur preparation?
Ivan: Ok la
Colin: .....
Sara: How many papers have u done?
Ivan: Physics I did 3 papers and Chemistry i did 3 also.
Sara: U?
Colin: Physics I did 1 booklet and Chemistry i did almost 1 paper.
Ivan: LOL.
Sara: Basically, u're dead la.
Colin: Yea.

Sometime later, somewhere in between the conversation between me and Ivan:

Ivan: For yesterday, I did 1 Physics paper and few of Chemistry question
Colin: Wah, so many?
Ivan: Yea. U?
Colin: LOL. Somehow I can only finish 6 question in 1 day.
Ivan: LOL.

Doomed.

Physics

Physics for me i think is the most interesting sciences among all the other. I love physics the most. It is the onli subject that i can sit there for 2-3 hours or maybe more than that to study it. The study of physics involves the mysterious universe we live in and the physical stuff which we're not able to see with our naked eyes.

4 greatest physicist that changes the world of physics:
i) Galileo Galilei
ii) Isaac Newton
iii) Albert Einstein
iv) Steven Hawking

At the same time being a great physicist, they were also the most renowned mathematicians of all time. Especially Isaac Newton who discover calculus that describe the motion of any objects all by himself in a room for 2 year without leaving the room. The 1st one who studied motion was Galileo Galilei, he rebelled against the church who ruled at that time saying that Earth rotates around the Sun. He was later imprisoned for lifetime. In his final years, he studied motion in the prison and his studies of motion was later continue by Isaac Newton who was born 800 miles away after his death. Besides that, Isaac Newton also discover gravity while he was walking towards an apple tree and saw an apple falling down. He created the 3 laws that soon governed the world of technology and physics. But under circumstances, somehow or rather if a object which move at the speed of light does not follow his law. The theory of relativity which is related to time and motion was soon discovered by Albert Einstein. In his early ages, Einstein have asked a rather impossible question which not many of us can answer even now. He said that "If I move as fast as the speed of light, will I be able to see the beam of light to be stationary?". Newton discovers the laws that govern the Earth but Einstein discover the laws that govern the entire universe. Apparently, the laws created by Einstein do not apply in small objects like the sub-atomic particle. The study of small atomic particles is called quantum mechanics. Steven Hawking is the one who marry the laws created by Einstein and the studies of quantum mechanics which seem impossible in Einstein years. He then discover the Hawking radiation created by black hole. Lol, i dun understand that one at all and that is why i wont describe it here. LOL. He done all his work after he finds out that the part of his brain which control motion was dying out. He only left 2 years before his entire body become paralyze. All of them might discovered different laws and have their own point of view in physics but they all shared a common characteristic which they all have great concentration power. On top of that, they also shared a peculiar behaviour where they do not interact much with society. All of them are not good in their academic performance in their early years. Most important of all, they all shared the same interest and passion in physics which enables them to sacrifice they're lifetime in discovering physics.

My Wish

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most you

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' 'till you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish
(My wish for you)

This is my wish
(My wish for you)
I hope you know somebody loves you
(My wish for you)
May all your dreams stay big
(My wish for you)

The Power of Love

I guess Love really can change a person totally, when u really fall truely for the one u love most. No reason to love really. Love is all about how much u can devote urself to that particular person. I've been really a jerk for the past time for i've done something i never could hv imagine that I've actually done it. I've say stuff and do stuff that actually hurt someone. I'm so sorry. I'll promise i wont do it ever for i know the feelings of being played because i was once toyed by the girl i like most. I know how it feels. Been such a dreamer and said stuff which i dont really know wat i'm saying and doin ridiculous stuff. This whole year had been a dream but a wonderful one. Everyday is a new experience and i guess experiences is wat make a person to grow up. Just pray and hope to be a better person each day. No matter how bad the past was, it will still be a part of me. A part that helps me to grow up and to be someone better. And falling for u was the greatest thing in my life. Haha seriously is been a dream all this while. Maybe i should wake up by now. I know is not possible but is ok. Just hope everything is fine and thats my wish. Ah, hack. Here it goes again.

Inspiring Story

“If a stranger were to approach you with a deal, any amount of money you would desire for 18 years of your life, would you take it ?” asked Luna moonfang. Phantom Assasin raised her eyebrow , Lina Inverse sipped her coffee quietly, Anti-Mage glanced at her fiancée, Crystal Maiden, whilst Zues chuckled and replied, “What kind of weird question is that?” “Its not weird . I’m just asking for your opinions and I want an honest answer. Would you give up the last 18years of your life in exchange for riches beyond belief?” With eyes wide open, Phantom Assasin answered defiantly , “Why I certainly would not! Not a single portion of my life is for sale!” “You barely gave it a thought, Broodmother. I mean, its not your entire life, just 18 years of it. Lets say you’re destined to live until 90. Taking the deal would make it 72. Then you will still have plenty of golden years to see your grandchildren… if you plan it right, that is” “But for all you know , you could drop dead on the spot once you signed the deal,” interrupted Crystal Maiden. “Imagine living on borrowed time. What a scary thought.” “Well every deal has its risks. Still you can’t look at things from the negative point of view. Why, with our current living standards, everyone should live until 70, with the right food and proper exercise. Imagine having all the riches you could only dream about, without having to lift a finger,” Luna moonfang ended with a sigh, as she envisioned sports cars and bungalows. Anti-Mage jabbed Crystal Maiden and said, “ I never knew you had a money-thirsty friend,” Crystal Maiden eyed her fiancé of six months and replied ,”She’s your sister” The group laughed upon seeing the antics of the couple. “Who put you up to this? Did someone actually make you the offer?” sniggered Zues , halfway through his café’s famous cappuccino “Nah. It just came to me one day and when I asked my friends, they game me all kinds of answers. Some said life was more worth than money or gold, some said that they preferred happiness and love and some even called me a gold-digger just for thinking the question,” explained the youngest member of the group. “I just thought that I’d get different replies from my working friends,” she continued, eyeing everyone around the table as she spoke “So, it’s a collective no then?” “Yup!” And went up a ring of hands around the table except Lina Inverse who had remained silent throughout the whole conversation “I’d take the deal.” Luna moonfang eyed the quiet social worker and said, “Whoa Lina Inverse . You’re the last person here I’d expect to say yes.” “Well , when you think about it, it’s a chance of a lifetime. So why I wouldn’t I ?” Lina Inverse replied as she placed her empty cup on the table. Zues injected ,”But surely the money’s not worth it. I mean, what if you had only three months to live? Think of all the wonderful things in life that you’d be giving up.” “The people you love,” added Anti-Mage whilst giving Crystal Maiden a smooch on the cheek “The holidays and wedding gifts,”winked Crystal Maiden, happy at the attention. “Friends and family,” smiled Phantom Assasin a mother of two “You will be throwing out what’s really important in life for money which , if I may remind you, you can’t take it to the grave,” concluded Zues “First things first,” Lina Inverse interjected, eyeing Zues .”I may ahem…, live longer than three months.” “Point taken.” Replied the coffee owner. “But what if you don’t ?” “Well, then I guess I’d need to write a will, leaving portions of money to Luna moonfang so she can take her Masters degree, Phantom Assasin so she can set up a college fund for her daughter, to Crystal Maiden and Anti-Mage so they can buy that dream house at the beach and to Zues, who wants to open up more branches so everyone else can enjoy excellent cappuccino that he makes,” she replied, looking at each friend around the table The group fell silent, quietly ashamed of the negative thoughts they had of her. “Money can be the root of all evil, but you don’t have to serve the devil to enjoy it. I may not have much use for millions of dollars no matter how long I live, but I know orphanages and abandoned old folks who can benefit from the money. And there are many researches institutes which would appreciate the funding to find cures for cancer and AIDS. All the need is someone to give up 18 years of his/her life for is.”

Elusive

What it is feel like to fall for someone so deeply?
What it is feel like to miss someone so badly?
Fate has brought us so far that nothing can replace ur position and the things u've done that forever will be etched within my memory. From the day we met, we laugh, till the day we say goodbye. U're the onli one that brings about the tears back in me again and u're the onli one that are able to make me smile when i'm feeling lousy. I tried my best not to think about u coz i know is sellfish for me to love u when u dont have the same feelings towards me. Every single thing i do i cant concentrate for u're always in my mind. I did anything possible just to get u out of my head. I might be weak. But I promise, I promise i'll grow stronger to stand for tomorrow and to tell myself that u've left footprints in my heart. Everlasting.

Gone

There's a thousand words
That I could say
To make you come home
Seems so long ago
You walked away
Left me alone
And I remember what you
Said to me
You were acting so strange,
Mmm
Maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change
Was it something I said
To make you turn away
To make you walk out
And leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that
You were right here
Right now

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man
And be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth re-mains
You're

Gone
You're gone
Baby you're
Gone, girl you're gone
Baby girl you're gone
You're gone
You're

Now I don't wanna make
Excuses baby
Won't change the fact
That you're gone
But if there is something
That I could do
Won't you please let me know
The time is passing so
Slowly now
Guess that's my life
Without you
And maybe I could change
My every day
But baby I don't want to
So I'll just hang around
And find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
And I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't
Love me too
Please say you do

Yeah

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man
And be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth re-mains you're

Gone
You're gone
You're gone
You're gone
You're gone
You're gone
Oh

What will I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart
Baby why don't you see
That I need you here with me

Oh

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man
And be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth re-mains you're gone

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a manAnd be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth re-mains you're

Gone
You're Gone
You're gone
You're gone
Baby girl you're gone
You're gone
But the truth re-mains
You're

Melodies of Life

Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies of life--love's lost refrain

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold
In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond

So far and away, see the bird as it flies by
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond

If I should leave this lonely world behind
Your voice will still remember our melody
Now I know we'll carry on
Melodies of life
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
As long as we remember

Gallery

God broke the mold,
When he made this one I know
She's breathtaking but so much more
She walks in the room, your loves closed
Making you never want to breathe again
Her boyfriend has got so much dough
So much ice his neck and wrist froze
Is he faithful to her? Hell no
But she chose to be with him, shorty

Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

Because

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you

Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

You're a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
In his gallery

If You're not the One

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

Pardon Me

This few weeks if u find me being ignorance or something, so sory coz bo mood nowadays. Not because of anything special, its just because i'm worried about my trial exam and i cant seem to focus on my studies. I tried to study for some time but it turns out reading the same line for 3000 times. Haihz. And sory if i've done anything wrong. I realized how close is trial and if this continue i will be dead. Haihz. Cham. Headache. Hope to recover soon. ARGHHH!!!

Something.. something i cant explain

Is been few weeks or maybe perhaps 1 month i felt this change in myself. Certain change. Some might be good and some might not be, but mostly not. Its like i cant focus on something i do. Everytime there is something bothering me in my head. Cant explain. One of the most obvious want is getting more and more lazy. Haihz, dunno why, maybe is related to the 1st one. Anyway is my problem and if i've offended someone during this period of time, i humbly apologize to u. Hope to be coming back to the normal realm soon. Well maybe this is a part gifted by God that will be etched within my memory. "Compos mentis".

Nocturnal Dreams

If i'm not mistaken it was 3.00am at nite. I suddenly woke up from my sleep. Then i try to get myself back to sleep but i cant, i realized something is bothering me. I mean someone. It was 2 days be4 my chem CT3. I know i shouldn't be thinking of this sort of stuff for i should focus on my test, i tried, but i failed. I dunno how to describe the feelings... Maybe u'll feel that way when u're missing s0meone. Then i walk to the pc and on9, i saw no one on9 so instead i went to my friendster and checked on something else. After awhile of dreaming and thinking, suddenly i saw someone msg me and told me of something very weird, very weird indeed. After that, about 4.30 i went back to bed trying not to think of it. I mean her.

Heaven

It is fate that brought us together but destiny that parts us. Loving u is when i cant get u out of my head every single day and wondering what were u thinking at the same time. Every single glimpse of moment with u could mean so much. Sometimes i wish i can tell u but..... Mayb.. Perhaps..... is a one sided-romance. I just hope........

A Secret I Can't Tell

If You Love Someone Put Their Name In A Circle Not A Heart, A Heart Can Break But A Circle Goes On Forever. Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep Because Reality Is Better Then A Dream. The First Time I Saw You I Knew It Was True. That I'd Love You Forever And That's What I'll Do. You Don't Know What You Do To Me, You Don't Have A Clue. You Don't Know What It's Like To Be Me Looking At You. Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worth while, so when you are lonely, remember this is true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you. To see you is what my eyes long for, to touch you is what my body longs for, but to love you, my heart has done already for a long time. Gotta let you know that I love you, gotta let you know that I care, gotta let you know that for you, I'll always be there

My Best Pals

In my life, i dont actually mixed around much. Normally i only stay put with one group of friends and thats it. One of my best pal is Seong Bin. Last time in school we use to stick together in our group which has 4 ppl but me and him were closer to each other. We use to talk to each other alot last time and that unfortunately get us in to alot of trouble in school. Haha. Seong Bin is a funny guy with alot of his own theories and thinking back of it makes me laugh. Those were the days, well. Another of my best pal is Ivan Lai. Actually i'm suppose to dedicate this post for him because he really hlp me alot. Haha. Yeah, i know, he's a nice guy. At the same time he is also a funny guy. He can make u laugh 24/7 with all his "JOKES", u know. Haha. He is also a smart guy and that's an undeniable fact. For me, i think, he's unique for i hv never met a guy like him. Haha as &*#@%. U know. Lol. So i really hope to meet u in Monash next time, Ivan Lai.

Undescribable Yet Unforgetable

Perhaps this is one of the most peculiar event that happen in my life. This event indeed left footprints in my heart. Well, according to one of my friend, Ivan, he said it was sick. Haha. I dunno, maybe it is. It just happen recently. There was this girl, she was a very distantly related cousin of mine but her mum was adopted so.... (Hard to explain, Lets move on 1st to get u a clearer picture). Ok. I've already met her quite some time during some inportant event like CNY, Xmas or gathering. For me, she's a girl that is pretty, lovely and there is something in her that makes a connection between both of us that she gives me a feeling where she is the kinda of girl that i can hold and protect. It all started, when i was at the funeral service, she came too. Actually i really hate this sort of stuff but i have do it (The funeral service). During that time, few of my cousin said that she was glancing at me for number of times but i thought it was a joke and i dint really pay much attention to it and continue to do my duty as in collecting money for the service. After some time, i was bored and i looked around. I saw the girl sort of like looking at me so i... (as always i turn away). After all the prauers and stuff were over, all of us left. The funeral service was held for 2 days. The 2nd day, after all the services, all of us were tired and exhausted and we decided to go back coz later at nite we still have a dinner to go. While we were heading back, i saw the girl behind her grandma. I wave to her grandma coz i know her, and then the girl thought i was waving at her so she waved back at me. She smiled abit when she was waving. She was indeed a pretty and nice girl. At that nite, the dinner. I dint really eat much for i have eaten wif my bro be4 this. After the dinner, when i was chatting wif all my cousin, the girl came by and ask me for my phone number. At that time i was quite scared coz all of my cousin were there and even my bro. My hands are shaking when i type to her the phone number so i dunno whether i hv type correctly. During that time, i heard my relatives saying something like ...(Can la, can la) not really sure but that is what i heard. Be4 leaving she smiled abit and waved at me. I cant lie to myself for i really hv feelings for her but....... there is already a girl in my heart. Haha. Irony as it is the girl that i like doesnt like me. Well, perhaps this is what i called LOVE.

My Life

Today may be one of those days, dear Sagittarius, in which you don't know which way to turn. You are going around a rotary and none of the roads look good to you. For some reason, your car doesn't want to turn off, and you keep going around and around and around. If you can, just stop the car and take a rest. Get out and walk around for a while until your head stops spinning. Wait until the air clears before making your next major move.

The Worst Week of My Life

This Week a lot of things did happen, indeed. The week that i don't feel like myself anymore. 1st of the things that occur is the Esl presentation. Yup, i cant ignore the fact that i screw it up badly. Haihz, i'm not good at this sort of stuff i know. Even if i prepared i ended up screwing it also, as always. 2nd is my health problems, 2 blisters in my mouth causing my lips to dried up and making me hard to open my mouth and even eat coz its really painful. Not only that, my gastric became worse and unfortunately i hv to see a doctor coz of it. 3rdly, i'm starting to fade in class and i dunno what is goin on in the lesson anymore. I'm afraid my result will drop. Lastly, my grandma pass away. Haihz.

Bad Boys

When i was form 4. I am really a complete devil. Haha me n my gang used to ponteng alot during school. Dont do homework, dont listen in class and most importantly we're in the blacklist. Haha. We're a gang of 4. Normally in class we onli chat around with each other and laugh about and ignore the teacher in front. In the end, the teacher was so sick of us, she ignored us too. Haha. Not only that, we even got our hair cut by teacher quite a number of times. Usually after the hair cut we will be sent directly to the principal for insulting teacher. =_= Then after that we will usually ponteng class and hang around in the toilet, chat, fixing hair coz the teacher really spoilt our hair style. Haha. But one of the most ironic thing is, we're in the 2nd class (so fake). Really, thats my high school life, always getting screwed by teacher until we're kinda bored wif it. I think in my high school life i only like one teacher and her name is Mrs.Ramani. Shes the best literature teacher ever, she taught me alot bout life and literature of coz. =_= Her class is really enjoyable, not onli that she teaches literature well, she even tell stories to us and its really hilarious sometimes. Seriously, i still miss her teaching. Haihz, although most of it was a sad history but some was really memorable and sweet. Thinking back of the 95% sad past and a mere 5% memorable past, sometimes it makes me wonder.

Interact Club Camp Trip

It was when i was form 5 i went to this camp trip. During this camp trip which is a 3 days 2 night camp, something happened during the trip and it wont occured in a boy school. Well, here it goes, when me n my friends arrived at the camp, somewhere in Karak (not sure), we all took out our hp and checked whether there is line because the place was a highland. I remembered my fren was using digi and he said he have line problem. Then, i took out mine and i checked the line bar, guess what, haha, it was full. Lol. Then after that we went to settle our room and stuff. After that, we went in to somekind of hall at the place to listen to a talk, and it was stuffy and hot. It was a 3 hour talk and i really felt like walking out but i didn't. Lol. So after the talk, we had some activities outdoor and it was then it started. We were divided into groups for the activity. Luckily, me and my fren was on the same group. Haha. The game was something like this. First, they bring a role of tissue paper and ask everyone in the group to take as many tissue as u like. I saw my fren like tearing out the whole role of the tissue, so i decided to take as much too. In the end, they told us that for how many pieces of tissue u take u hv to describe urself by that many times. Then we were like, .............. and we quickly hide as many of our tissue as possible. In the end, there is only 7 piece left. Lol. The moral of the story is dun be greedy. Haha. After that we went to have our lunch at some sort of canteen and the food was extremely terrible. The chicken was as hard as rock, vegetable was raw and alot other crap. After the lunch we head back to our rooms and prepared for the night activities. After finish bathing and styling the hair me n my fren went to the place where the night activity were held. During that night, there was a lot of bees flying around and all the people were busy at the bees and goin crazy bout it. Then, there was this girl in our group came by me and told me that a bee is somewhere around me. I think din answer her but instead i juz looked at her and my fren answered her. It was that night we started knewing each other. We had a really fun time during the camp days. Later, that night (the last night of the camp), after my shower i went out wif my fren to hv a walk and suddenly we passed by the girl at somewhere around a pondok and she called me. My fren said to me something like: go la Colin i dun wanna kacau u la. I was like =_= Then i went there to hv a maggi mee with her and we chat a little. She ask me of whether or not i like football coz there was a TV and all the other people there was busy watching the match. Then, i told her i don't and she said something like: good, i dun like guys that watch football. Well, anyway i just continue on my maggi mee. After awhile, about 1a.m in the morning i told her that i'm sleepy and i hv to ciao. Then, i went back to my room after brushing my teeth and went to sleep. It was then the day where we had to leave the camp, we had a briefing and thanksgiving for the organizer and then there was our last lunch. After the lunch, we washed our plates and at the moment i walked out of the canteen, a guy came to me and asked wat is my phone number. I was like ....... and at last i give him. Then after i've given to him, he told me that it was the girl that actually asked for it. He pointed her to me. Then, she came by and i juz smile at her. After that, we went into our bus and leave the spot. Well, its certainly something new but i cant admit the fact i'm blur and stupid. Haha. Sory.

Haha. Lol. Never had thought of myself blogging. Oh well. Me & my pathethic life. Here it goes. Well, i was in SK Taman Midah when i was in standard 1. It was a mixed school. Haha. During that time, i was really enjoying myself and life went smoothly. Maybe it is because still brainless that time or brain haven develop enough. LOL. Enjoyed chatting, playing, getting scolded by teacher. Haha, basically thats what i call life la. Haha. During that time, i've also met a girl. Somehow or rather, fate brought us together. Haha. We enjoyed holding hands which each other and eating with each other. At that moment of my life, reality was considered to be better than dreams. Haha. But happy moments dont really last long because i have to switch school. I dunno why this happened but maybe its because of my big mouth cousin who told one of my family member about me & the girl and somehow or rather the news arrived to my mum. Hence, my mum decided to change me into a boy school =_= .