The True Meaning Of Love

From the very beginning, the girl'sfamily objected strongly on herdating this guy. Saying that it hasgot todo with family background & that thegirl will have to suffer for therest of her life if she were to bewith him.Due to family's pressure, thecouple quarrel very often. Though thegirl love the guy deeply, but shealways ask him: 'How deep is your lovefor me?'As the guy is not good with hiswords, this often causes the girl tobe very upset. With that & thefamily's pressure, the girls oftenvent her anger on him. As for him, heonly endure it in silence.After a couple of years, the guyfinally graduated & decided to furtherhis studies in overseas. Beforeleaving, he proposed to the girl: 'I'mnot very good with words. But all Iknow is that I love you. If you allowme, I will take care of you for therest of my life. As for your family,I'll try my best to talk themround. Will you marry me?'The girl agreed, & with the guy'sdetermination,the family finally gavein & agreed to let them get married.So before he leaves, they got engaged.The girl went out to the workingsociety, where as the guy was overseas,continuing his studies. They senttheir love through emails &phone calls. Though it's hard, butboth never thought of giving up.One day, while the girl was on herway to work,she was knocked down by acar that lost control. When she wokeup, she saw her parents beside herbed. She realized that she was badlyinjured. Seeing her mum crying, shewanted to comfort her. But she realizedthat all that could come out of hermouth was just a sigh.She has lost her voice...... Thedoctor says that the impact on herbrain has caused her to lose her voice.Listening to her parents' comfort,butwith nothing coming out from her, shebroke down. During the stay inhospital, besides silence cry ...it'sstill just silence cry that companiedher.Upon reaching home, everythingseems to be the same. Except for theringing tone of the phone. Whichpierced into her heart every time itrang.She does not wish to let the guyknow & not wanting to be a burden tohim,she wrote a letter to him sayingthat she does not wish to wait anylonger.With that, she sent the ring backto him. In return, the guy sentmillions & millions of reply, andcountless of phone calls, all the girlcould do, besides crying, is stillcrying....The parents decided to move away,hoping that she could eventuallyforget everything & be happy. With anew environment, the girl learns signlanguage & started a new life. Tellingher everyday that she must forget theguy.One day, her friend came & told herthat he's back. She asked her friendnot to let him know what happenedto her. Since then, there wasn'tanymore news of him.A year has passed & her friend camewith an envelope, containing aninvitation card for the guy'swedding. The girl was shattered. Whenshe open the letter, she saw her namein it instead.When she was about to ask herfriend what's going on, she saw theguy standing in front of her. He usedsign language telling her 'I've spenta year's time to learn sign language.Just to let you know that I've notforgotten our promise. Let me have thechance to be your voice. I Love You.With that, he slipped the ring backinto her finger. The girl finallysmiled.

Watashi wa anata ga inakute totemo sabishiidesu

I miss her so much. I hope she's with me. The one girl that i've ever truly fell in love with.

baCk.

Due to Colin's lazyness of updating the blog, I shall sweep off the dusts, remove all cobwebs and hold that responsibilities for just an itsy bitsy teeny weeny moment.

Anyone visiting this page would then be able to find out that.. :D
He's currently studying at Monash, Sunway.
As of now it'd be Year 2, First Semester - halfway.
And that's all I know or have to say, anywaySs.

He's doing fine.
He hates the workload.
He's good at gaming (wtf?).

I think he thinks about you guys once in a while.
Do keep in touCh with him.
He's sad.
No, that's a lie.

Oh, and he's on Facebook too. Go aDd! :)

-doinkerSs

All my life

Well.. ermm this might be my last blogging coz i dunno when will i blog again because.. there is a number of reasons :

1) Uni starting pretty soon and ermm.. i dunno whether izzit stressful or not so ermm.. might not have the time.
2) This is killing me and i hope to stop
3) Hold on to what i hv left within me

Well, since this is the last.. i better make it a long wan. I really wanted to tell u that i really find u the most special person that i hv ever met. U changed me to a better person.. more mature perhaps? Really, u're the only one that i've ever had this feelings for. I dunno. This question remains elusive, somehow. I know the chances of finding someone like u again is like.. ermm locating a particular person in a billions of crowd? Haha, i really dunno wat i'm saying here. Well, i dunno whether u like me or not but that doesnt matter anymore coz we might not be seeing each other again. Seriously, i dun mind studying anything. In fact, i had a plan once to study with the one i love most. Haha, immature eh? Well, i guess life never turns out according to plan, in my case. But i think, i'm never worthy for u. Perhaps, ermm.. i dunno.. immature? the way i talk? Haha, still talking like one. For the past 2 months i've been really in a mess, goin to CC for almost 24 hours a day just to stop myself from thinking. Crazy eh? Haha. Well, i guess i cant hlp it. But for the past 2 months besides all the CC i still did something which i think is more.. ermm... useful? Ermmm... essential? Nar, i dunno the word. I've already obtained my driving license and my piano lesson is half way through. As u can see.. i still like u alot. In fact i dunno whether i'll get over u. Maybe not. I really dunno what more i can say... is like... i've used all my words on u that there is none left. Sometimes is better not seeing each other because i rather not see u than to see u with another guy. Well, just hope that u'll find a guy that find himself worthy for u and most importantly, love u as much as i do or perhaps more than i do. And one last thing.. I heard this song in the radio that day and immediately the very 1st person i think of was u. This song means alot to me. Listen to this song.. is something from me to u, if u ever find ur way to this blog of mine..

Confusion

If i really love u that much why should i even think of letting u go? Maybe.. maybe i know that our relationship might not work? Or maybe because i know this is a one sided-romance? Or is it just plain coward? I saw u on9 that day, i was actually very happy.. but sometimes is just that how u feel about others does not make others feel the same for u, so... its kinda like i really wanted to talk to u but i dunno wat i should say. Haihz. But i'm glad to know u're alright there. Perhaps u hv even found someone u like there. Well, as long as u're happy, i will be.. for u. Ah, hack.. I'm pathetic.

Best In Me

Sometimes ur words means different to others. I dunno. It seems happening to me all the time. Well, i'm suppose i'm a lousy speaker? Same goes to the things u do. U know u're goin to fail and yet u tried. Human nature? I'm not that sure either. Perhaps i knew that u dont like me but yet it seems that there is always this hope that keeps me goin on. I dunno why i love u so much. Maybe its not all about the hope, maybe is because u bring out the best in me that none other can.

Cause u bring out the best in me
Like no one else can do
That's why i'm by ur side
That's why i love u

I really do miss u so much even until now. Seriously, i'm so down without u and sometimes i wish i could see u again eventhough... The reason why i blogged so much lesser nowadays because blogging reminds me of u. A place where i voiced out my heart. Though it reminds me of u, yet i'm still doing it.

Incomplete

Its been a awhile again. I'm seriously lost nowadays and for the past month i've been completely stupefied. I guess i'm really completely in love with her. I still cant let u go. Is all my fault, i should hv told u how i felt about u but i hesitated. I'm such a coward and a loser. But even if i told u how much i love u that doesnt make u feel the same way towards me. I hesitated because i think i'm not good enough for u. U're really the one girl i ever see this way before. Is really... i dunno.. Haihz. There is so many question i wanna ask u and i've not seen u for awhile. I know u know how i feel about u. That is why i hesitated even more when i saw u. Is really a one-sided romance i think this is.

Do u still remember the phrase i once told u before? Happy and whole? I finally know wat it means to be happy and whole. Because i'm so incomplete nowadays no matter what i do, without you. If i were to be given a choice on having u and letting go everything in my life, i do. Because i know i love u.

Abyss

Really wat more can go wrong? I really dunno wat more to say. Lost my IC and results are bad. Previously i already have a bad premonition about my results. I thought i was just too worried about it till the day i saw my own results. Haihz. Really. Everything is lost. I'm living in an abyss now. A memorable year aint it? 2007. What a piece of crap i'm writing? I hv no idea myself.

Without You

Is it possible that one soul cannot live without another soul? Last time, i've always think that this is not possible. But as days past, i've begin to realise that it is possible that one cannot live without another person, someone important to him or perhaps his love. For the past week, i've really been in a mess, everything i did was ... was... completely... i mean i'm like a lifeless soul nowadays. Nar, i dunno wat to say anymore. This is just... hard.

Without You:

Oh I can't forget this evening
Or your face when you were leaving
But I guess thats just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows, yes it shows

Oh I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live, if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give anymore

I can't live, if living is without you
I can't live, I can't give anymore

How Deep Is Your Love?

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm with your love then you softly leave

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you, you know the door to a better song
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside that I really do

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

Girl you came to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love then you softly leave

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

How deep is your love?

I Still

Its good to hv finally found the answer and not to be a sadist all the time. Recently, i keep getting awake from my sleep in the middle of the night. Though everything is over but I still recall the past and think of u most of the time. I was wondering where have u been lately, because i still owe u an apology for acting so naive and... I've been missing u.

Until The End of Time

Its been 5 months eversince i really fall in love with u. I hv been thinking recently and figure that the things i hv done in the past was wrong. Wrong in the sense that, the way i've acted is so naive. To be truthful, is really ok if anyone said i'm emo or something but the reason i've posted so many of this so called 'emo post' is really wat ive been thinking of for the past 5 months. Everything i do, u will be on my mind. Well, everything has to over soon. There is just one more thing left for me to say. Haha. I'm a coward, i think i wouldnt dare tell u face to face. I owe u an apology. I dunno how much longer my love for u will last, maybe, another couple of years before i can erase all the feelings as feelings wont fade easily. Well, maybe this is the time for me to stop acting so naive and life has to go on, rite? But i will always remember that i hv love u.. Until the end of time.

Until The End of Time :

Woke up this morning
Heard the TV sayin' something
'Bout disaster in the world and
It made me wonder where I'm going
There's so much darkness in the world
But I see beauty left in you girl
And what you give me let's me know
That I'll be alright

'cause if your love was all I had
In this life
Well that would be enough
Until the end of time
So rest your weary heart
And relax your mind
Cause I'm gonna love you girl
Until the end of time

Now if you're ever wondering
About the way I'm feeling
Well baby girl there ain't no question
Just to be around you is a blessing
Sick and tired of trying to save the world
I just want to spend my time with you girl
And what you're giving me
Let's me know that we'll be alright.

'cause if your love was all I had
In this life
Well that would be enough
Until the end of time
So rest your weary heart
And relax your mind
Cause I'm gonna love you girl
Until the end of time

'cause if your love was all I had
In this life
That would be enough
Until the end of time

Goodbye Me Pal

He's the only sri lankan fren i know. Oh wait, he's not the onli sri lankan fren i know, i know 2 sri lankan. Haha. His name is Anthony. He's leaving today. Well, we was once classmates. He's a nice guy. Serious. I wont forget u man. Sory, i really dunno wat to say. My sentences nowadays is like all in pieces and parcel. Sory man, i'm an idiot. I dunno whether u know about my blog anot but i really do hope u will come back one day. Gimme a call when u do. And of course good luck in ur life and everything. Still a long road to our destination. Haha. I will always remember u. Dun worry. Haha. Bye, my friend.

Re-evaluation

For once i thought u hv still a glimpse of feelings towards me. Such a fool. How could i not know? I just realized that the little glimpse of feelings doesnt exist at all. The things u said to me, the word u use, the tone. I really thought that.... Maybe i am a fool after all. U might not have a clue wat u said to me but everything u said to me is a memory to me. I really hope u do have feelings for me. Please tell me u do....

Wisdom? I dun think i hv even a tiny bit of that virtue now. Maybe that is why some ppl choose not to love anymore. Yea, truely, i might hv been a fool for her, but for those that choose not to love anymore, they might hv forgotten the sweet memories behind the love. Kinda sad to know that she doesnt like me at all.. but i will nv regret loving u because it was u who make me into a better person and of course the memories. Damn, i'm pathetic.

The song, Linger, always remind me of how i am such a fool for u and my lingering feelings upon u.

Perhaps i need some time to re-evaluate myself, things i hv done, everything. But one thing is for sure, I really do like u. It would be selfish for me to use the word love for i dun think i'm mature enough to love u. After everything. I'm sory.

Emo dude

Lol. 1st thing i come on9, my fren pm me and said hi, wanna go out yam cha? Emo dude? I like swt. Emo dude? =.= Hmm, dunno maybe i am one. Haha but i guess they wont understand the feeling. Its been awhile eversince i saw her. To me is like a year or more. Haihz, i really dunno wat am i suppose to do. Really, is only me that liked her not the other way so perhaps she wont know either. Oh God.. What the heck am i talking? Ah, and my sinus is killing me as always.

Btw, to these days that seem like a year, i found out some interesting names. Haha.

i) Lestat
ii) Lucius
iii) Lancelot
iv) Leia
v) Lucilla

But, i think Lestat is the best. Haha.

Oh, yea i also found out some distinctive virtues of life. Well, here it goes:

i) Wisdom

The way i'm acting, i dun think i hv this virtue.

ii) Ambition

This one i guess i hv. Haha. Is just the matter of whether it can be achieved or not.

iii) Temperance

Not sure.

iv) Fortitude

Abit kua.

v) Devotion

Er... no?

vi) Courageous

Nv. U wont find this virtue on a coward i guess. Haha.

Shallow

There is nv one day i could stop myself from thinking bout u. In fact, everything i do, u're somehow always on my mind. I couldn't hlp myself for falling so deep for you. U're everything to me, gorgeous, smart, lovely, everything. U're just simply flawless to me. Dwelling in this never-ending illusion is really hard for my love for u is tormenting me everyday. I really hope that u can tell me that u like me as much as i like u but i know this is absurd. Sometimes, i just hope that u will tell me that u dun like me so that i can get over u, truely, or maybe one day when we meet again, i'll be seeing u holding hands with another guy. I really hope i can get over u and keep u away from my mind but I cant... the more i try to forget u, the more i am thinking of you. I just... cant. Fortitude is what keep me standing still these days. It seems like an illusion all the while, life is. I guess i'm just too shallow..

How Did I Fall In Love With You

Remember when
We never needed each other
The best of friends
Like sister and brother
We understood
We’d never
be Alone

Those days are gone
Now I want you so much
The night is long
And I need your touch
Don’t know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child
That I resemble
I cannot pretend
That we can still be friends
Don’t wanna be alone tonight

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

I wanna say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don’t wanna live this lie
I don’t wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do
How did I fall in love with you

What can I do to make you mine
Falling so hard, so fast this time
Everything’s changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you

Wonderful Life

For me i think my life is a blessing now. Well, i might have been born ugly or dumb but u know wat God has given me in my life? God has given me friends that are none other than u guys (G6) and God has also give me my wonderful parents and siblings. I really like to take this opporturnity to thanks Caryn on her wonderful post about us. I really like it. I think u really put alot effort into it. Haha. Thanks Caryn. No matter how many times i hv said something or done something wrong to u. Plz forgive me. Mistake, i guess. Mistake i think is wat brought us to know more about ourselves and identifying our true souls. I know, i have done countless of mistake in the past but it had been a wonderful experiences that brings about the better me. And for this, i hv to thanks my parents, my classmates, my siblings, my best buddies, and my tutor.

Well, my parents.. Last time i was quite a rude boy and quite rebellious but as years gone by, i begin to realise that maybe for all the scolding last time is for my sake. Now, i think i'm alot mature to be able to handle by relationships with my parents and of course i do spend time with them every now and then. My siblings, of course, my eldest bro, to be honest, without him, i dunno wat have i to become now. Haha.

My best buddies, this include Ivan Lai and one of my old schoolmate Seong Bin. Haha. They are wonderful. Seriously, Ivan, i need to thank u for all the things u have taught me. Also, i would like to humbly apologize to u. I know sometimes when i play games, i might be abit siao, haha. Tats because i get too high i think. Haha. Saying stuff that annoys u or stuff.. but to be honest with u, i dun really know wat i'm talking during that period. Haha. I guess i dun mean it. I'm sory. Truely, u're the only guy i respect the most besides my father, my bros and my tutor coz i think u're a far greater guy than me, ever to be. It would take me a lifetime to be as good as u, i think. But i promise i'll change, not because of anything else.. Just that i wanna be a better person.. really. Thanks.

My friends of course are equally as important. Yes, they are. Yup i think Caryn is true. I'm a coward all my life. Haha. I guess i am. Even my own siblings, my cousin and friends said the same thing to me. Well, i guess tat is why my parents gimme the name Colin. Haha. C stands for coward i think. Well? Haha. Without u all, i guess i wouldnt be... me. Thinking of how we will part one day.. Seriously, as a guy, tears do occur. Haha. Maybe i'm a sissy. I dunno. Sory.

And my tutor. Haha. He's the one that transform me from lazy and dumb to eventually become someone better. He taught me in form 4 back then. On physics and chem and add math of course. Not only he taught me sciences, he also taught me the way of life. Every now and then, he will come and we will talk bout our lives and stuff. Btw, he said i'm those type that dun like to social alot. Haha. He is the one that actually inspired me to become a biotechnician. ( Is tat wat u call it anyway? Someone who master the field of biotech?). Perhaps, one day during this holiday i will find him and maybe go yum cha wif him and chat for awhile. And, seriously, if i were one day to be able to drive cars like BMW, i will come to u and tell u how succesful i have become under ur guidance, i really hope i do.

Wat else can i hope for more in life? Really? I think God has given me the best thing ever for anyone else. I really do love all of u. Haha. Hack, my eyes are abit wet. I guess is the yawning. Lol. Sory if i sounded pathethic but this is wat deep down inside my heart. For all of u, i hope we'll meet again one day. And of course good luck in everything. For everlasting memories lies deep down within my heart.

Thank You all

This post is especially for those who hv hlp me. 1st of all, i would like to thx samantha for teaching me esl and the story book. Oh, yea, the story book. Lol. Sory, i haven read finish, almost. Haha. I'll return to u as soon as possible. 2nd, i would like to thx cindy for all the notes, info and stuff. Thx cindy. Haha. 3rdly, i would like to thx yi vun for all the chem notes. Haha. Without it, i wonder how am i suppose to do chem. Lol. Finally, the last but not least, is my best buddy. Who else? Haha. None other than Ivan Lai. Haha U're the bestest buddy that one can ever wish for. Haha, though at times u might say stuff that really annoys me but well haha.. No worries. For that i would like to wish u to get a TER of 95+ so that u can go monash and i also hope i can get TER of 90+ to get my scholarship for biotech, then we can most probably meet there. Haha. Thx man, for everything. Also, i would like to thx all my frens, vivek, sara, sanjay, hao yi, jack. Haha, u guys are great. ^.^y. All the best man in everything, i hope we'll meet one day. Haha. See one of u driving like BMW or maybe even Lamborghini. Haha. Thxs all.

Fantasy

Fantasy. Fantasy is simple, really. Some fantasy is only meant to exist in our dreams and only there. Well, is funny really, how someone can do so much for the one they love. It doesnt matter them as long as they can be with the one they love. Well, i might have been a complete idiot in front of u or perhaps i might even say stuff that is ridiculous and make myself look like a fool, but that is just because i dont wanna act as someone i'm not to u. I know, i know clearly that u doesnt have the same feelings i have for u towards me but eventhough i knew about it, i still.. i still dwell upon u. Well... everything is over now. Perhaps one day i might forget bout ur laughter, ur smile or maybe even ur voice.. but i will always remember that i have love u. I'm sory coz i shouldnt be saying this, really. Well, i hope we will meet in the near future and i certainly hope that u will find a guy that is far better than me, ever, because u deserve someone better. Well, let fate decide everthing... Ah hack, i think i should stop here. I really sound so pathetic nowadays. So sory.